stay with it, dear. this is important to document. i want ease! myoki got ease, right? her home gives her joy. she did it. sigh. what can i manifest? i want joy. i want someone else here that i love. i want to feel empowered. could i...what do i want to manifest? i feel lazy. ashamed of just wanting it done for me. i dont want to feel overwhelmed!
i do like making progress on this, talking with others. planting the seeds. it's great. it's just hard. the push back from...i dont wanna be tired? i can get into it. i dont want to feel regret? can i reprogram me? i dont wanna be unhappy.
ok, keep on working on the flow chart from rob roy book. its a good exercise to fill in the gaps in his trajectory. i can sit with how that feels once i understand it.
it IS 3 years of wor. front end. hard work. i miss spencer on this, didnt appreciate fully what he was doing with his cabin, etc. i loved it there.
who the fuck am i?
i guess im gonna have to choose. am i (for the next x years) going to be low debt house maker and documenter (i like the documenter part.) it will be a lot of my energy. plus band and hopefuly pt goddard teaching.
im trying to go with what makes me happy. that yellow house makes me happy in tf.
if i could get a great usda mortgage and with some paid work get out of debt in x time...that would be great, too.
so another thing to do is look into the usda mortgage again.
Hadley Service Center
195 Russell Street, Suite B7
Hadley MA, 01035-9521
Serving Western Massachusetts
Berkshire, Franklin, Hampshire, and Hampden Counties
Michael Rendulic, Area Director
Phone: (413)585-1000 Ext. 4
FAX: (413)586-8648
Email: michael.rendulic@ma.usda.gov
Office Hours are 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM, Monday through Friday
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